Always, No Matter What
by magbug10
Summary: My first ever fanfiction! *gasp* It starts with Lily and Severus as children, and I'm planning on writing up to her death (but that could change). Lily's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: okay, here's the start of my very first _ever_ fanfiction! Again, I won't be able to update very often... but I will do my best! please let me know what you think of it, and any suggustions! Thanks :)**

There had always been something that has fascinated me about Severus Snape. I don't know what, maybe it's his mysterious demeanor, his dark looks, or his strange quietness. Or maybe it was because I could relate to him. Whatever it was, it held me tight to him, never letting go. Even in later years, when we stopped talking and even looking at each other, that pull towards him was still there.

I remember when I first met him, I was 10 years old. I didn't know witches and wizards existed, I didn't know anything about Hogwarts or who Dumbledore was. All I knew was that next autumn I would be attending Tuney's school, Harrold Priory Middle School. Sev went to the same primary school as me, but I stayed away from him. He was just that odd kid sitting in the corner petting a toad, nobody talked to him or about him. Even the teacher had trouble remembering his name. Once, when nobody was looking I waved at him but all he did was stare, like a deer caught in the headlight. It wasn't until the end of my 5th year did I hear him speak the first words I had ever heard him say.

"It's obvious, isn't it? I know what you are. You're... You're a witch"

The first thought that crossed across my mind was "I'm a what?" Quickly followed by "impossible, witches only exist in fairy stories". They're always described as being nasty, foul old women with warts and long noses. I wasn't old, and I'd never even had so much as a pimple, let alone a wart. I quickly told him off.

"That's not a very nice thing to say to somebody!" No wonder he didn't have any friends, if that's how he started conversations. Although, even though I knew I should have been more offended, I found it interesting the way he said it. Not in a mystic, important voice, but a quiet matter of fact voice. An exited secret.

Petunia laughed at him. I felt a little resentful towards her. So what if he lived down Spinners end? It doesn't change who he is. The queen of England herself could live there and she would still be the queen... Wouldn't she? My imagination started to spin... What if Severus Snape was actually a long lost prince, taken away from his parents at birth to protect him? Or maybe he was hiding tremendous secrets, an undercover spy for the secret intelligence service? But what rubbish. Surely if he were either of those he'd be able to get some clothes that fit properly. I jumped as petunia barked at me to leave with her. I had gotten lost in my thoughts, as usual. I gave him a thorough looking over as we left, but I'm afraid it came off as a glare. He shrank away from me when I looked at him.

~.~.~.~

Over the next week, I couldn't get Severus Snape and what he had said out of my mind. Sure, I had always played magic with my friends, but I never even dreamed it could be real. It couldn't be. Severus Snape was just some odd boy who said strange things. And yet, a part of me **_DID_** believe him, wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe I was special, rather than just the pretty girl who got good marks in school. I guess that is true, I did get good marks and people always told me I was pretty, but I wanted to be more. I wanted to do something, be something more. Right now, I'm boring. I wear my dark red hair the same every day, I wear the same style of clothes, I'm frozen in this phase. I need a change, and I need it soon.

I decide to talk to Severus Snape.

It was Friday night when I decided to talk to him, and we were busy all weekend, so I had to wait until Monday morning to talk to him. And then there was the problem of getting away from my friends or explains to them why I was going to talk to him. I finally managed it during afternoon recess, telling Erin and Kate that I had some questions on the last homework to ask our teacher.

I headed back from the playground to the school, but instead of going in, I ducked around to the back after I was sure nobody was looking. I knew Severus was there not because I had seen him, but because that is where I would have gone also. And sure enough that is where he was. I walked up to him slowly, as if approaching a venomous snake. He didn't look up right away, but when he did he had a strange expression on his face. It wasn't quite surprise or shock, maybe a little startled. But it was still calm. I didn't talk or say anything, but just sat beside him. I could see he had been drawing something, but whether by accident or not he shifted so it didn't show.

We sat for perhaps five minutes, side by side, not speaking. Finally, I asked him a question.

"What were you drawing?" He looked at me. I looked at him. I had never been this close to him, and only now did I realise how interesting his eyes were. They were very dark, almost black. They were abstract, always changing, swirling, dynamic. He didn't answer, but instead slowly brought up the drawing pad and held it to me, inviting me to take it.

"Oh, Severus, it's lovely!" I exclaimed, for it was. The drawing was much like his eyes, changing so every time you looked at it seemed different. It was a flower, a white lily. When I looked at it, it swayed in the wind, yet staying still the whole time. I felt as if I could have reached into the paper and plucked it. The drawing was alive. Severus spoke to me, his voice sounded shaky and slightly scared.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it! It is the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. Did you do it all by yourself? Can you teach me how?" I was bombarding him with questions. "What else can you draw? Why don't you show people your drawings?" I was just saying things now. My mouth was speaking without my brain comprehending.

"People don't... Like me. If they were to see what I love to do, they would try to take it away from me. Bobby Polkiss would beat me silly if he saw this." He spoke slowly, carefully choosing his words.

"Well, Bobby Polkiss is a _git_." I put emphasis on the last word. "Your drawing, it's magical. Which brings me to what I came to talk to you about. What you said last week, about me being a witch, was that just some game you were making up?" But at that moment, the bell rang for break to end. We didn't move, not at first.

Then, suddenly, he stood up. He looked straight into my eyes.

"Meet me here after school. I'll explain everything." And just like that, he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

I returned after school, only to find Severus wasn't there. Where was he? I decide to wait for a bit, he might have had to use the toilet or something. I waited. 20 minutes. Half an hour. An hour. He wasn't there. He wasn't coming. I had gotten my hopes up- why? Even I could not tell you. Something about him seemed special. I felt a connection to him I did not have with others.

"Lily? Lily. There you are." I jumped. A shrill voice had pierced the silence around me. "I've been waiting to walk home with you for ages. What _have_ you been doing?" Petunia grabbed my arm and pulled me up from my sitting position. Her fingers dug into my arm and I could feel them all the way down to the bone.

"Petunia! Stop it, you're hurting me!" She loosened her grip, but did not let go. I still felt the sting of her fingers against my bones.

"Well, come on then. I'm going to miss the beginning of my television program because of you. It's supposed to start in five minutes. It takes ten to walk home." I sighed, and let her drag me by the arm. Why hadn't Severus shown up? It bugged me how much it annoyed me. I had never even talked to him before today.

When We got home, I went to my bedroom and closed the door.

"Lily, are you ok? You've been quiet for a very long time."

"I'm fine, mum. Just a rough day at school. Mulling things over." she left, but came back a moment later with a hot cup of tea with milk and sugar- just the way I liked it.

"Now, tell me about this rough day of yours." I explained about Severus and how confused I was about being upset.

"Well," she said carefully, "maybe you should talk to him tomorrow and see what's going on. He might've had a family emergency pop up. In the meantime, I want you to get ready for bed and get some sleep." She tapped me on the nose. "Allez. To bed. "I handed her back my empty tea cup and went to brush my teeth. I felt a lot better after talking to her. I haven't even thought of that.

That night, I dreamed. There were lilies that fluttered around my head calling my name. They opened and closed their petals like mouths and had clear, loud voices. "Lily, lily, come with us." They chanted over and over. No matter how much I snatched hat them, they always seemed just out of reach. I awoke the next morning groggy and tired with no recollection of the dream.

~.~.~

School the next day was long and torturous. I sat across the room from Severus, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. Well, in his defense both his eyes were so black and blue I'm surprised he could see where he was going. Was this why he didn't show up? What's he getting the living day lights beaten out of him?

I soon found out. Tucked inside my desk was the drawing of the lily. Drops of blood scattered the edges. His blood. On the back of the paper was a quickly scribbled note: "lily, meet me at the playground by the supermarket ASAP. Sev." I found this strange. Why there? There are definitely closer places, places that we can meet at during lunch.

I glance at Severus again and see him quickly look away. I felt angry. Why wouldn't he just look at me for five seconds? Was HE embarrassed to make contact with ME? Finally, I give up and decide to tell Petunia I'm meeting with a friend after school and to go home without me. She seemed a little worried when I told her, but she always is whenever I go somewhere alone. After all, she is my big sister and somehow thinks she has to look after me _every_ minute of the day.

When I get to the playground, Snape is waiting for me. Before I can say so much as a "Hello, how are you?" He's grabbed me by the arm and is pulling me away.

"Severus Snape you let go of my arm this instant and tell me where you're taking me." As far as I know, he could be taking me to some axe murderers hideout or something.

"Rotherham River. Just a few moments' walk from here. It's not far. Look, you can almost see it, not quite." I look, and sure enough there is a slight slope, as if a river was just beyond. You could even hear a slight trickle of water if you really tried.

"Okay. But if I don't like where you're taking me I'm going home." That's a lie. I want to hear what he has to say too much. I follow him closely, strangely comforted by his presence in this new and unfamiliar place. He catches me twice as I trip over a branch and then a rabbit hole, making me blush and feel ashamed of myself. Ordinary me tripping over everything, and oops... There I go again, this time just over the uneven ground.

We crawl through a hole in a dense patch of bushes, and we arrive at what I can only assume is our destination. A willow shades a grassy bank on what indeed is a small river. The willow has just started to get the tiniest speckling of white flower buds. The water is sparkling, and although not clear as glass, still gorgeous. I could see to the bottom where there were tiny minnows swimming along the edges, and crawfish as it got deeper. Overall, it was like stepping into a dream place. The grass was green, the sky was blue, nothing seemed wrong. Except, that is, both Severus and I seemed out of place. Intruders into this small utopia.

We both kicked off our shoes and dangled our toes and feet in the water, which was cool and refreshing.

"You know," Snape said with a small smile, "you are the first ever person I've shown this place." At first I didn't understand what he was saying. What did he mean? Other people had seen this of course. How could something this amazing be undiscovered? Then I realized how. The thick bushes prevented anyone coming through unless they knew were the hole was. The trees blocked sight, and big, sharp rocks were almost boxing in the far bank and crossing across the two sections of water on either side of the river. This almost formed a little lagoon. All in all, it was the perfect hideaway.

Severus had brought watermelon to the hidden paradise before school had started. It was cool and sweet, and juice was dripping down our chins in no time.

"So," I started out, "witches and wizards. Magic. You aren't going to turn me into a toad, are you?" He laughed at that. His laughter was genuine and his smile softened his rough face.

"Of course not. I can't even do a simple levitation charm yet. Although, I have been taught a few simple potion tricks." His posture was at ease, and he was sprawled on the bank with his feet barely touching the water. Although his pants legs were too short to reach the water, he had rolled them up anyways. My shoes and socks were kicked off next to his.

"What does it mean though, that we're witches and wizards? Can we have a vampire too? Or a fairy?" His head whipped around, throwing some of the juice from his chin into the lake.

"This is no game, Lily Evans. We're different. We're special. Hasn't anything strange happened to you? Well, that's a stupid question. Of course things have. I've watched them happen to you." He blushed a little at that last part. I sat in silence, not knowing what to say. He sat up, and looked at me a little fiercer. "Remember that time Evelyn St. Jones ripped the head off of your teddy bear in reception, and then by the time your friend went and got the teacher everything was fine with it? That's magic. You started showing it early, earlier than me even." He looked a little sore about that.

"Severus, oh goodness. That's such a long name. Can I call you Sev?" He nodded his agreement and blushed a little again. "Sev, if this isn't a game, what is it then? What's the point of being a witch if I don't know how to use... Magic?" I was so confused about everything. Yes, Hos the bear's head had just seemed to mend itself, along with other things throughout the years. To give myself something to do, I grabbed another piece of the sticky watermelon.

"I guess you could say our ultimate goal is to get a wizarding career, but first we have to go to Hogwarts." Hogwarts? It sounded like some sort of disease to me. He saw my questioning look and continued. "Hogwarts is a school, a school of magic. Witches and wizards like us go there." He then proceeded to tell me every detail about Hogwarts he could, most of which he said he had been told by older children at dinner parties and such. I didn't care where the information came from, I loved to hear about every bit. Especially the ghosts and the magical ceilings. "And, we get to go there this year, you and me!" He waited for a response. I slowly started

"So... How do I tell my parents? Just go up to them and say 'Hi Mum, hi Dad. Just wanted to let you know I'm going off to a magic school you've never heard of before. See you on holiday.'? Ha, as if. They'd never let me go. Tell me how it is, won't you?" He laughed again.

"Our course not, silly. Usually, you get your Hogwarts letter by owl, but since you're muggle born, a ministry representative will come talk to your parents."

"Sev?"

"Yeah?"

"Does it matter, that I'm muggle born? Will everyone else know loads more than me? Am I going to be ages behind?" He smiled at me.

"Of course not! Every one there will love you! You'll be brilliant! You are brilliant" He sounded so sure of it I couldn't help but believe it a little bit myself. His knowledge of Hogwarts and magic awed me.

"But," I said mischievously with a grin, "I know something you don't know!" He smiled wearily back.

"Oh yeah, try me"

I stood up.

"You have got a watermelon seed sticking to your upper lip" he looked startled and instantly put his hand to his lips, finding the small black culprit. Grabbing my shoes, I ran back to the hedge and yelled "See you tomorrow." before ducking out under the hedge.

**A/N: Hi, and thank you for reading! I've still got a bit stored up that I've written, so I'll try to update the rest I have written ASAP :) Again, this is my first fanfiction, and I'd love it if you told me what you think of it so far!**


	3. Chapter 3

I found myself thinking a lot about Hogwarts, imagining fantastic and extraordinary situations involving magic and dragons and... Severus Snape. I'll admit, I was quite taken with him, although if you asked why, I'd never be able to tell you.

We just seemed to fit, like we had always been friends but had never known it. Our friendship seemed much more developed and mature than mine with Erin or Kate, who i had been best friends with since the first day of pre-years.

Tuney didn't like him, but then again I didn't like most of her friends. We were really very different, but I would never have asked for a different sister. Yes, we argued. Yes, we annoyed each other, but in the way that you're annoyed when you eat too much and don't have room for back to sev, there was no explanation. We simply were.

As the school year came to a close, we were spending more and more time together. He had dinner with us at least three times a week and even started calling my parents 'mum' and 'dad'. It all seemed very natural, and I loved every second of it. He was the son my father never had, the child who my mum could still coddle. I really think this helped sev. He was standing straighter, improved his hygiene, and was filling out his skinny figure a bit.

I milked him for every bit of knowledge he had about magic and Hogwarts I could. My parents, still not knowing, thought this was a wonderful game we had going on. I only hoped they understood when the actual reality of it was revealed to them.

And soon it was, I remember it clearly. Sev was over, as usual. We were doing some repair stuff around the house with dad, changing lightbulbs and such, when the bell rang. It was in the morning, around mid July. Mum got the door.

"Good morning, Mrs. Evans. I am Minerva McGonagall and I am here to speak to you about your daughter, Lily. May I come in?"

Sev nudged me, and my heart rate picked up. This was it. This was my Hogwarts acceptance. I pretended like I noticed nothing different, but sev and I kept glancing at each other. I could see the worried excitement in his eyes, and I'm sure mine mirrored his. Mum called both of us into the sitting room.

"Lily, Severus, there's someone here to see you" we both broke out into a full grin.

"coming, mum!" We both shouted, already halfway there.

Minerva McGonagall was a tall, thin, middle aged woman. She was dressed In a strange outfit which looked slightly like a bathrobe. She looked stern, but smiled when she saw Sev and I at the door.

"Please come in" she invited, motioning to the seats next to my mother. We sat, and McGonagal smiled at us again.

I suppose we looked strange, now that I look back. We were both sitting on the edge of our seats, faces flushed with excitement. And then it was in my hands. A thick envelope addressed to me in green ink.

"Ms. Lily Evans, The Sitting Room, 5 Dudley street, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom" I opened it.

"HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Ms. Evans,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress"

I looked over at Sev and found him already grinning at me. I realised that I, too, has a giddy smile plastered across my face. Mum looked confused. I didn't blame her. A strange woman comes into your house only to give your daughter and her friend two mysterious letters, which happen to give them two of the biggest smiles she's ever seen.

I hand my letter to her, and she reads it over. She looks even more confused than before.

"But... But... Er, professor McGonagall, is it? What in queens name is this? You cannot possibly be serious" Professor McGonagall sighed.

"Mrs. Evans, your daughter is a witch." Plain and simple, right to the point. "She has been invited to attend the best magic school in Britain, where she will learn to control and use her, um, abilities, to her best ability. She's a fairly powerful one too, by the looks of it. Started showing signs around age four."I glanced at Severus. He was looking proudly at me. Mum, on the other hand, was looking completely befuddled. McGonagall continued, "occasionally, two non-magical folk produce magical children. They're referred to as 'muggle-borns'. Lily, your daughter, is one of these extraordinary children. Although, it seems as though young Severus has already explained everything to her. He to, is a wizard you see."

Mum was absolutely baffled. She looked like grandma Evelyn after last years New Years party. Mouth gaping, eyes wide, and barely able to speak.

"You honestly... Expect me to believe... This nonsense?" At the word nonsense, Sev and I started to protest, but McGonagall shot us a sharp look and we stopped.

"Mrs. Evans, you are taking this much better than most muggle parents. May I offer you a drink?" And then with a pop, there were four glasses with what appeared to be cherry lemonade sitting on the table. McGonagall motioned for us to take one. It was delicious, cold, sweet, with just the right amount of tartness. It washed over my tongue, down my throat, and settled softly in my stomach, where I could still feel the cool. Mum was sipping one too, and it was clear she was enjoying it just as much as I was. The drink had a calming effect on mum, and I myself felt a wave of happiness wash over me.

"There's a calming drought infused in this lemonade" Severus whispered across from me. A real potion, and I was drinking it. Mum certainly had calmed down quite a bit, and even McGonagall seemed to relax a bit.

"Mr. Snape, Ms. Evans, unless I am mistaken, you both know quite a bit about Hogwarts and magic already. Lily, if I could have some time with your mother to discuss whatever concerns and issues she may have, I'm sure you could find other activities to occupy your time" her tone was friendly, laid back, and confident in the fact that she would be able to clear up these issues with mum.

Severus and I wished her goodbye, then left the room, trying to hide our rushed excitement to compare letters.

And of course, professor McGonagall HAD assured mrs. Evans that her daughter would be perfectly safe and well cared for athogwarts.


End file.
